This is My Favorite Song

“50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon from Still Crazy After All These Years (1975).

The Complete 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Started by Paul Simon and finished by Dan Samiljan

1. You just slip out the back, Jack.
2. Make a new plan, Stan.
3. You don’t need to be coy, Roy.
4. Hop on the bus, Gus.
5. Just drop off the key, Lee.
6. You just need to brave, Dave.
7. Get on a bike, Mike.
8. Just walk the plank, Frank.
9. Get out of her way, Trey.
10. Admit how you feel, Neil.
11. Take up the organ, Morgan.
12. Forget her birthday, Clay.
13. Buy her an ugly rug, Doug.
14. Drop a bombshell, Mel.
15. Just be a big slob, Bob.
16. Eat all the pie, Guy.
17. Ruin her grandma’s quilt, Milt.
18. Find a new gal, Hal.
19. You need to drag your feet, Pete.
20. Throw out her ham, Sam.
21. Fart on her back, Mac.
22. Just do something bad, Chad.
23. Run over her cat, Matt.
24. Smoke too much pot, Scott.
25. Start doing cocaine, Dwayne.
26. Get addicted to meth, Seth.
27. Tell her you’re a narc, Clark.
28. Make sure she’s annoyed, Floyd.
29. Try a little blackmail, Dale.
30. Tell her what you’ve stolen, Nolan.
31. You just call her names, James.
32. Move to Orlando, Fernando.
33. Speak only in Hebrew, Stu.
34. Tell her you want to convert, Bert.
35. Refuse to keep parve, Marv.
36. Admit that you’re a perv, Merv.
37. Join the Ku Klux Klan, Dan.
38. Throw her cat in the furnace, Ernest.
39. Eat all the Ritz, Fritz.
40. Fill her bed with reptiles, Miles.
41. Do it with the maid, Wade.
42. Threaten her kid, Sid.
43. Watch too much Alf, Ralph.
44. You just need to be gay, Ray.
45. Make sure that cat is dead, Fred.
46. Feed her to a lion, Brian.
47. Tell her there is no God, Todd.
48. Don’t say you’re sorry, Ari.
49. Fart on her again, Ken.
50. Just ask her to leave, Steve.